Thinking cap

Thinking Cap =
serious pondering.
I put fun toys on the floor
for Autumn to play
with and left the room
confident that she would be
entertained for hours while
I did the dishes. Yes, she
was entertained....AND
exteremely quiet! Not
sure what I would find
as I peeped my head around
the corner, thinking maybe
she feel asleep or was so
entertained that she was
quiet instead of sqealing as
she made discoveries. I didn't
find a child entertained by toys
nor did I find my child sleeping.
She was literally in all the paper
I left on the floor! She was far away
from where I placed her to play with
her toys! She was eating my sheer
white printer paper!
I rushed over to her to see
how much of the white mass she
had consumed and found. She had consumed
a fair amount! Well, now I clear the floor
of anything, BUT her toys.
Aren't we sometimes what like Autumn?
God gives us the wonderful blessings
of the gospel and we shy away for
something that looks more attractive
and fun? Instead of going to church,
we stay home to watch a T.V. show
that simply just puts us in a zone for
a while rather than filling our lamp
with a drop of oil? Instead of reading
our scriptures DAILY we find ourselves
too busy to read the scriptures, yet we find
later what looks like a more attractive
and interesting book to read?
Instead of rememering the roles our
Heavenly Father gave us as homemakers and
women, we settle for the worlds view of women's
roles which is merely to be attractive?
I thank my little girl for giving me some
insight as to maybe what I was missing
out on because instead of doing what
Heavenly Father asks me I choose an
alternative route, thinking it would make me
happy. When in reality, it only made me more
miserable trying to find happiness in something
that has only a little enjoyment rather than
lasting happiness.
Thanks for the small moments that I have
with you Autumn. These moments even
touch my rough heart.

Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks? :)

Change

Things are changed.
I feel it really was all
a matter of order of
events. Iron-man/aka
hubby's changes have
affected me the most.
Followed by a wonderful
stake conference which
challenged us to
re-do the personal progress
program. As I started this
morning working on the
1st value in Integrity, I
found myself slacking in
sooo many areas. I had been
so focused on helping iron-man
to change, that I forgot myself.
It was tiring and I should
have realized I too needed
to help myself to change.
I am so excited to start
personal progress again. I
already have started to find
some hope. :) The 1st
presidency promises that as
"you keep the covenants you
have made and these standards,
the Lord will bless you with the
Holy Ghost, your faith and testimony
will grow stronger and you will enjoy
increasing happiness."
I thought to myself, why not give it a try
again?
So, by small and simple steps are great changes
brought to pass. :)

Talents

we are instructed to make the
most of the talents that we have
been blessed with.
so, after i finish my degree
in medical transcripting i am
going back to school to be a
therapist/psychologist.
i am so excited. i finally found
what i am really good at and
now i can use that talent to help others!
so, here is my plan.
get my medical transcripting job,
work, go to school, be a mom.
me and ryan will obviosly have to
switch off with the baby while
one of us attends classes.
so excited to increase
the natural talent i have been
given.

thunder

the last while life has been just
been a whirlwind with loud thunder, but
every once in a while, the thunder
stops and the wind slows down to a breeze.
a soft, gentle, warm, spring breeze.
it is then that i am reminded of
happiness and where i can find it.
its not in the whirlwinds of busyness,
its not in the thunders of searching for
more.
but rather, it's there.
it's right there.
it's in the waking up
at night to care for a crying baby.
it's the tickle fights that eventually
lead to a serious ab workout from
laughter.
it's in holding hands as we ride in
the car to the temple.
it's waking up to the smell
of surprise pancakes.
it's in being grateful for what
we do have on the table,
not what we don't.
it's in the nightly whispers
of i love you, right before
we lose ourselves to dreaming.
it's in the laughter of watching
our Autumn discover the world.
it's in the smiling when we feel
like crying.
it's in the remembering of our
blessings.
it's in serving others when our
own hearts ache.
it's in the sacrifices that you
see others make so you
can have.
it's in finding out someone
paid so you did not have to.
it's in falling on your knees in prayer
each day, and finding that your
relationship with God has
grown strong.
it's in knowing he will always
be there for you.
it's in the love you share with
your spouse.
it's in (even though extremely gross)
the covered wagon that your husband finds
is hilarious...but actually, i guess it's his odd
way of sharing that he loves you.
it's in remembering your husband works hard
to provide.
it's in doing and remembering
the little things that makes
life the way God meant it to be.
it's not in the whirlwinds, or
the thundering around me,
it's right there. right there
in front of me.